by Lamide Adeyeye
Wonders of Courtship
What is courtship? This is a period of mutual agreement and understanding reached between two opposite sex on marital issue and when they are eventually joined in holy wedlock.
While ‘tips’ can be defined as guiding rules or a piece of advice on how to handle an issue. Thus courtship tips are guiding rules on how to maintain a long – lasting and successful relationship that might eventually lead to marriage.
• Don’t date someone who is not interested in your values, dreams, goals, success, happiness and fulfillment in life
• Don’t rush into dating relationship but take it slow; people that rush end up suffer from hurt, rejection and heart brokenness. Thus take time “to look before you leap”
• Date someone with similar goals, values, dreams, belief and interest. It enhances your level of understanding and intimacy in relationship.
• Never get into a relationship with a person of no purpose, vision or goals in life.
• Always zip up your pants or trouser, wait for marriage before you have sex. Know that sex never leads to true love or marriage.
• Allow the basis of your dating relationship on platonic friendship not lovers for it’s much easier to get to know the real person as a friend than as a lover. However, friends can become good lovers with time.
• Avoid late visitation that might lead to sleeping in the same room together.
• Never pack into a man’s house and be staying with him when you have not married (co- habitation) for in doing so, you will lose your respect, self worth and self esteem.
• Be honest and trustworthy to your spouse and be discipline towards other women and men.
• Don’t date anyone based on infatuation or sympathy but rather let it be based on real lover.
• As men, always make out quality time for spouse, so that she can feel loved and appreciated.
• Never go into relationship with someone you cannot trust.
• As a lady, never date someone who does not want to come to your house in order not to be known by your parents or take you to his family house.
• Always pray and play together in open places not in enclosed ones.
• Don’t go out with someone of different ideology especially on spiritual issues.
• Avoid body fondling, kissing, romance, petting, and necking for all these lead to sexual stimulation, which always create an appetite for sex.
• Never a relationship with a mind of changing person’s beliefs, goals, or vision because you will be disappointed at the end of the day.
• Never lure your spouse into sex, if you love her, you will wait for her, also girls should not be wearing seductive clothes, learn to dress modestly and decently.
• Don’t date a man that is not proud of you or tolerates you but rather go for someone that celebrates you.
• Always be first to end a date as a lady, this shows how responsible and discipline you are.
We all have our own believes. What is good to one – it is not necessary great for the other. My personal view is that not having sex before marriage spells a disaster.
Sexual compatibility is one of the things which are difficult to attain. It is too late, once married, just to find out that you want it ten times a week while your partner only ten times in ten years.
You should not get in love with someone unless you can lead a happy life ‘thereafter’. If you will be sexually frustrated you can bet all horses on it you will regret your deed till rest of your life. Unless you will divorce or cheat. And that is not a happy relationship.
Getting married without sex is like getting married without having a conversation. I’m not going into more detail.
You might send your personal stories from your own experience.