Do men still want to have sex when they have erectile dysfunction?

by Ann C
(CA)

Just wondering. Is there anything I can do? We are both young, in our thirties???

Tibor's reply:

The answers in most cases is YES!
If a man has ED it doesn't mean he has no desire for sex.

It is of upmost importance to realize (for women) that men still feel great sensation even though they do not have an erection.

The problem here will be that a man will have feeling of failure; not able to satisfy his lover.
This will manifest in sex withdrawal or more stress resulting in even less erections.

Communications will become difficult for a simple reason: no man likes to admit he has a problem in sex department.
There are endless cases women feel helpless because they partners do not show interest and they avoid having sex completely.
They suspect their partners of being gay or unfaithful. In many cases they even interpret it as they themselves are not attractive any more.

The subject is sensitive and the best way is to seek medical advice and counselling to determine the cause.
Also, there are excellent articles how to increase libido for both women and men.

Recommended pages: Libido, Male Erection

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Do men still want to have sex when they have erectile dysfunction?

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Issues ED causes with woman
by: Anonymous

My husband is 34 and my issue is that he doesn't seem to be interested in me at all.

I am trying to figure out if his emotions are tied to testosterone.

My husband is a great friend and father but does not seem to know how to make me happy. I have really tried with him and I end up so frustrated. My husband seems to have a hard time connecting to me lovingly it's not just about how infrequently we have sex, I miss being cared about.

My husband says he loves me but he refuses to get any help.

You read all these articles about standing by your man, but you can do that all day long and still fill like your glass is empty at the end of every day. Relationships are very much about give and take and unless you put yourself on the back burner that's the only way to deal with this issue.

As a mother you tend to do that anyway with your kids, which is why you really need that extra support system. My advice to any man reading this would be if you love your wife, as hard it is to go to a doctor for you; it's that much harder for your wife not to have you around and be that support that she needs.

Life is already tough enough so as understanding as woman are to be with ED; you should try to understand as well.


Tibor's reply:

Hm. Tough situation. How long this is going on? Was it very different when you got married?
How would you rate his sex drive when you met?

This is quite important to know for a reason. If it is his health or if there are other issues.

At 34 it is very unlikely it would be decreased libido. It may be related to relationship.
Some persons just get 'used to it'. Take everything for granted. They'll get comfortable.

Only love may solve this.
If he loves you he will be prepared to do necessary adjustments. We men don't do it unless we feel 'pressure'.

If it is a problem of a sexual matter he should visit a medical practitioner. There are many ways how to get help.
Or; you might decide to see counsellor.

Of course, he will resist. You also don't want to go into extremes.

However, there is one thing to remember: you have a problem.
No matter what you do; you are simply not happy. And this will never improve or change for better, it only can get worse. Unless you will do something about it.

Sooner you do it, better for both of you. It is in interest of your marriage. You don't want to deteriorate it further beyond the point of 'no repair'.

Explain your husband how much you love him. How important it is to get his affection and love. He might has a health issue which he doesn't want to share with you.

It is quite simple to increase libido if that is the case. You find articles on it on this website.
However, it is more important you both make a right choice and decision.

If you are not able to resolve this situation you will need to approach a professional.

In any case I wish you good outcome.
Tibor


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