I feel like my boyfriend cares more about his friends than me

by Nelly
(Texas)

Hello.

I met this guy on a dating app about a year ago and we were talking for about good 8 or 9 months before we met and now we have met each other, after 3 dates, we got with each other.

He asked me before if I work be his girlfriend after the first time we met, but I said no because we were arguing with each other, maybe 2 or 3 times. The whole reason for us arguing was because there would be days where he would not talk to me because he be with his friends and simply ignoring me because I could see he was online but leaving it hours before he would speak to me, or even a whole night and I didn't like that and basically told him i didn’t want to be with him.

And then after we made up, he said he was helping a friend move one evening and there was no signal and his friend had no Wi-Fi yet. I forgave him after he did some grovelling. This was over x-mas while i was away, so then he said he had no plans for NYE and I said I didn’t either, so I thought we be doing something together, so I got all excited to only find out he made plans with his friends to go out on NYE, so i got upset again and lashed out on him, told him I didn't wanna be with him again and eventually we made up again and everything was great until he promised to spend the night and me and then when i asked about it to him earlier in the week if we still going to spend the night together on the day we agreed, but he said he couldn’t because he is going to a log cabin for the weekend to get mashed up with his friends.

So you can guess what i did, lashed out said i didn't wanna be with him, but this time I had some bad news where i have to go again and have a cancer screening test done because they after i had this mini operation done to remove some abnormal cells and i am so worried and scared about it, that i have been crying for last few days about it and he knew this but still he won’t change his plans for me.

He said he already promised his friends and he’s the only one who can drive them up there etc. which i said is fine to do, I said you can even pick them up there next day and still spend some time with them on Saturday but I asked if he can stay sober and come and see me?!

As we agreed originally!!! He said he forgot he had this thing booked. He said he is stuck between the choice of me and his friends on what to do because he wants to be there for me too. So i forgave him and now we are ok again. I think, its Saturday today (the day we were supposed to meet and spend together) but he hasn’t spoken to me since Friday evening about 6pm.

It is only 9am sat morning but he always says good night to me, it’s only whenever he is with his "friends" that he ever does that to me (not speak to me) and the last time we were arguing he said to me that it was hard for him to changes because he has always been with his friends and it's hard for him to change.

I’m 4 years older than him and i am his first girlfriend so this is why i forgave him and I apologise for over reacting and we all fine now, but why hasn’t he msg me since the early evening the night before?! He’s taken off a setting off his phone for me not to be able to see if he has been online or not, and he has done this before. Am i over reacting? Is he really with his friends or with another girl? Or does he really not care about me and is just keeping me around for sex while he is enjoying himself with his friends? And probably seeing other girls too?! I haven’t met any one of his friends yet, because we have only seen each other now only still 4 times.

I’m scared it night be all in my head because of my horrible last relationship with a guy who i was with for about 3 years and he is my first boyfriend after him and i had been single for about 4 years. Need help! Am i in the wrong or is it him?!

Reply:

You are not wrong. Like it or not; you need to end this relationship with him. He is not worthy of it.
If he is with girls or boys is not relevant. He hasn’t got brains for any relationship.
He needs to get a lesson. Unfortunately you are the one who will suffer as well.
Find another boy. And closer to you.

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