Sex Appetite (Difference in Sex Drive)

What happens when a couple has a different sex appetite? A different sex drive?

We considered until recently it was women who complained the most about having too much sex.

Nowadays we know it maybe the other way around as well.  And there is no common solution to the problem.

When one needs sex more often while the other partner does not there is required to draw a compromise.

Sometime it works, sometimes it doesn't.


I've read an article where a couple were very unhappy. A woman in her forties needed regular sex while her husband tried to avoid it as a deadly virus.

So she found herself a lover. Her husband found out about it after half a year or so .

They had a serious talk. They came into an agreement she can have sex with her lover every fortnight.


And it worked out well. Her husband doesn’t have to hide any more and come up with endless excuses.

He is friends with her lover. But this does not happen often, does it? Let's go back to our article.

What is 'sex'?

A woman in her thirties says:  Before we moved together we had sex about once in a week. I would like to have it more often but there were not enough opportunities.

I just hopped this would change once we lived together.

After three years of marriage it seems like my husband could live without it. I am at a complete loss what to do.

We have a child together and I love him. Counselling is out of the equation, there is no way I could get him there.

When a man is horny.

What if it is the other way around? Sometimes man needs sex  so badly and just too often.

I always loved sex, says a forty years old woman. At the beginning I loved the fact my husband was a sex maniac.


However, after more than a decade of marriage he hasn't changed.

I simply can't bend in the kitchen, he is around me all the time, in a bathroom, simply - everywhere.

He has to have it daily and a weekend becomes torture for me. He made me hate sex. What would he do if I couldn't have sex with him? Would he rape my friends?

Is there a solution?

If there is a significant difference in the sex drive of two partners this should be considered while still not married.

The only recipe is to be opened about our needs.

I have many times written against waiting to have sex till marriage. Because once married and this kind of problem appears it is too late.

No matter how romantic it sounds. No matter what it is.

If you marry a person just to find out you are incompatible in sexual life you have only few options left.

That is:

  1. Divorce
  2. Cheat

           3.   Suffer till rest of your life

           4.  A very rare compromise

No matter how noble is our cause. This is the fact of life. Sex appetite is an attribute of a person.

Same as you would not marry someone you don’t like for other, 'more visible' reasons.

There are many couples living healthy life. The best is to think twice before marriage.


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